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  1. #31

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    It's Day 3 of TMQ: FO2018, and it turns out, those "VAN UYTVANCKs" I was hearing were not coming from the wheels of the bandwagon after all, but were actually the terrified squawks of three very blonde ducks stuck in the tracks as the cart came hurtling toward them. Through the miracle of the Internet, we were able to capture the final thoughts of each of these ducks before those fully functional wheels passed over their slender necks. These thoughts have been transcribed below, and may help you discover

    Where It Went Wrong For You, the Loser

    Johanna Larsson (7 victims): BMS? More like BJK, she's so old, plus you know, that whole kneecap slipped up into her thigh less than a year ago thing. I won a title the week before the start of a slam, which is always a great sign for a mid-level player, right? This is like money in the ba--VAN UYTVANCK!!!

    Carina Witthoeft (7 victims) I went 0-5 in the clay court season, losing to legendary dirtballers the caliber of Zarina Diyas (twice) and Bibiane Schoofs, so I couldn't be more excited to draw a wildcard as a warm up ma--VAN UYTVANCK!!!


    Marketa Vondrousova (1 victim) I won't be bogged down by Bogdan. I'm the next big thing in tennis--I'll be ranked in the top 5 and maybe already have won a slam by the time I'm 18. Oh wait--I already am 1--VAN UYTVANCK!!!


    So sad...that only 15 of you earned the title of loser today. My reddening finger is itching (once again, that's not dirty).
    Last edited by JTContinental; 05-30-2018 at 01:38 AM.
    This is not the bouquet you toss

  2. #32

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Day 4 dawns, and 3 no picks got us like 134

    The breakdown

    Anett Kontaveit 39
    Mihaela Buzarnescu 18
    Alize Cornet 18
    Sloane Stephens 13
    Madison Keys 12
    Camila Giorgi 6
    Carla Suarez Navarro 6
    Katerina Siniakova 5
    Naomi Osaka 5
    Daria Kasatkina 4
    Caroline Wozniacki 3
    Yulia Putintseva 2
    Petra Kvitová 2
    Petra Martic 1
    Last edited by JTContinental; 05-31-2018 at 01:18 AM.
    This is not the bouquet you toss

  3. #33

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JTContinental View Post
    It's Day 3 of TMQ: FO2018, a... Through the miracle of the Internet, we were able to capture the final thoughts of each of these ducks before those fully functional wheels passed over their slender necks. These thoughts have been transcribed below, and may help you discover...

    ...
    Time to find a shrink, JT
    (That was awfuk!!! Just kidding. Loved it )
    Face it. It's the apocalypse.

  4. #34

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by leaker View Post
    I can't remember who I picked yesterday.... where is the list with the names to see if I am still in it? Many thanks,
    I do that too, for solution...I click on my own name, it shows last few posts.

    Also, look in the first page to see if your name is red.

  5. #35

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Even with the remaining matches, we're gonna have 100+ going into Day 5? WOW! Feels like it's been awhile. Nicely done.

    On the other hand, I haven't seen the matchups so not sure of the likelihood, but I know JT must be chomping at the bit for some mass carnage.

  6. #36

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Day 4 dawned like an ill-advised sequel to yesterday, with more boring matches and SP results. The only thing of note is that TMQ was eliminated by Alize Cornet, the only pick that had any drama at all. Still, these ladies who lose managed to fight off the ennui long enough to let you know

    Where It Went Wrong For You, the Loser

    Alize Cornet (18 victims) I didn't watch my match, because I didn't want to see my epic meltdown, but I imagine that I was in full mascara-down-the-cheeks tears by the end. At 4-4 in the second set, I just decided to close my eyes and pretend I was on a beach on the Riviera, which may explain why every game for the rest of the match suddenly went to a million-point deuce that Parmentier eventually won.

    Carla Suarez Navarro (6 victims) I didn't watch my match because there were a bunch of better ones happening at the same time that held more interest to me, but I imagine I lost because I'm an aging player who relies on speed playing against a young gun on the rise who was in the zone.

    Petra Martic (1 victim) I didn't watch my match because it was over before I got the plastic off my racquet, but Wang has taken out victims in both rounds so far.


    Let's liven this tourney up a little bit tomorrow, shall we?
    This is not the bouquet you toss

  7. #37

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    4 more have left us courtesy of the dreaded no pick, and we also have 1 zombie, leaving 105

    Elise Mertens 27
    Daria Gavrilova 19
    Angelique Kerber 18
    Julia Goerges 11
    Kiki Bertens 11
    Maria Sharapova 6
    Garbine Muguruza 2
    Andrea Petkovic 2
    Shuai Zhang 2
    Caroline Garcia 2
    Karolina Pliskova 1
    Coco Vandeweghe 1
    Magdalena Rybarikova 1
    Serena Williams 1
    Bernarda Pera 1
    Last edited by JTContinental; 05-31-2018 at 01:04 PM.
    This is not the bouquet you toss

  8. #38

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    annnnd Gavrilova is gone


    ....nope not yet. I spoke too soon.


    Biggest choke of the tournament?
    Last edited by Anthony Chen; 05-31-2018 at 04:08 AM. Reason: gained additional information/typo

  9. #39

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Pera just served a big slice of crumble....

    Edit: but starts the 3rd just fine.
    Last edited by oploskoffie; 05-31-2018 at 04:15 AM.
    Coach Marion, at your service!

  10. #40

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    That lone Pera picker almost looked like a genius as they took out 19 victims. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. But brave pick nonetheless.

  11. #41

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    4 people? I hate this tournament
    This is not the bouquet you toss

  12. #42
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    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Well, my psuedo-rhyming strategy has paid off thus far, I better not quit now!

    Makarova - Safarova - Gavrilova - Putintseva - Pliskova - Kvitova

    Alas, I'm going to run out of va's

  13. #43

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JTContinental View Post
    4 people? I hate this tournament
    LOL! I think you might hate it tomorrow too. Saturday seems like it has more possibility for carnage.


    Edit - I retract this statement. There may be all kinds of carnage tomorrow after taking a closer look.
    Last edited by JazzNU; 05-31-2018 at 08:15 PM.

  14. #44

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    It will be a blood bath. We are so overdue....
    Face it. It's the apocalypse.

  15. #45

    Re: FOSP 2018: Women's Picks & Results Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ponchi101 View Post
    It will be a blood bath. We are so overdue....
    Let's hope! The two massive bandwagons in both pools freaked me out, so I went with riskier choices to avoid angering the gods This is also historically the strategy that eliminated me...

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