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Scrub Hub: November, 2011

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So friends, November has come and gone. This also means, of course, that the most important day of the year (hint: it’s my birthday) has come and gone as well. This would account for why this report is a few days late, I’ve been very preoccupied in my newly legal status. I have spent the last week and a half straight buying an ungodly amount of cigarettes that I will never smoke; voting in every election possible (E! online polls being the majority of them, Adele is the celebrity of the year BY A MILE); and going to strip clubs/watching porn, or maybe watching porn in a strip club, and doing all of these things just because I can. But it is important to also remember that this month also has a myriad of tournaments being played in countries that Herman Cain certainly can’t pronounce.

This month, much like October, is full of players trying to scrape up as many points as they can just to push them into the next level of tournaments. Whether it’s Dinah Pfizenmaier and Romana Caroline Tabak, who are running the tables through the 10K futures in order to solidify direct entry into 25Ks, or Mandy Minella, Michaella Krajicek, or Tamarine Tanasugarn attempting to play their way into the Australian Open main draw. Players play week-in and week-out, hurt or not, all to make the cutoffs for tournaments just a month away. With her win at the $75K Toyota, JPN, veteran Tanasguarn pushed her way back into the top 100 as well as securing her spot in the Australian Open at age 34. Her victim in the final, Kimiko Date-Krumm, also made the final at the $100K Taipei, TPE tournament before losing to top 50 player Ayumi Morita and has pushed her way back to number 88 in the world at the end of this season. Oh…and she’s 41, I mean, it’s not that big of a deal but whatever.

Another similarity between October and November is the continuance of the Australian Summer Swing of $25K tournaments. The usual suspects are still all here; Casey “Of the Water” Dellacqua, Olivia “I should play Safina every match” Rogowska, Isabella “You have no idea who I am” Holland, and Sacha “If you don’t know who she is, I don’t stand a chance” Jones. BUT, someone else actually won one of these (I know, fun, right?). At the tournament in Mount Gambier, AUS, Bojana Bobusic of Australia defeated Sung-Hee Han of Korea in straight sets. But, don’t worry, Casey won the next two in a row and restored order all while building up her 30 match win streak. Wait WHAT??? Yeah, 30 matches, in the same country, all because she’s coming back from “injury” and wants to “work her way back in.” Joke. She just wants to make everyone feel terrible about themselves because she feels like it. These tournaments are her E! Online polls and strip clubs, she’s doing it because she can.

The last thing I noticed this month, well actually I have noticed more but you guys don’t care enough about any of this to bore you with more than 3 points and, who am I kidding, everyone just wants the list at the end anyway. But, anyway, the “last” thing I noticed is how absolutely random these tournaments become at the end of the year. Example: Kaia Kanepi, yeah the 34th ranked one who almost made Grand Slam SF, was the top seed at the $25K in Helsinki this month. Yes this is as close as she gets to a hometown tournament, plus I love me a ball-basher, so I’m okay with it…but she pulled out before her SF against the terrifying prospect of playing Jana Cepelova with a back injury. Woops. Another example: the final of the $50K tournament in Toronto was between qualifier Amra Sadikovic and WC Gabriela Dabrowski. This is the same tournament a list of past winners such as Heather Watson, Sabine Lisicki, and Aleksandra Wozniak. And while Sadikovic used her victory here to push her way towards the Australian Open qualifying draw, still, you’ve never heard of her and I’ve only heard of her because I don’t have anything better to do with my life.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for; that part of the month where we list, somewhat arbitrarily, the top players of the month based on how much they win (and how much I like them, but you don’t know that).

1. Sesil Karantantcheva KAZ: W- $75K Phoenix, USA; F- $50K Grapevine, USA
2. Ayumi Morita JPN: W- $100K Taipei, TPE
3. Kimiko Date-Krumm JPN: F- $100K Taipei, TPE; $75K Toyota, JPN
4. Tamarine Tanasugarn THA: W- $75K Toyota, JPN
5. Alison Riske USA: W- $50K Nantes, FRA
6. Amra Sadikovic SUI: W- $50K Toronto, CAN (as a qualifier)
7. Anne Keothavong GBR: W- $50K+H Ismaning, GER
8. Kurumi Nara JPN: W- $50K Grapevine, USA
9. Casey Dellacqua AUS: W- $25K Traralgon, AUS; $25K Bendigo, AUS
10. Lesia Tsurenko UKR: W- $25K Bratislava, SVK; $25K Istanbul, TUR

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Updated 12-04-2011 at 04:53 PM by TennisBen21