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The 2nd Annual Doobie Awards; or 2009 in Review - Part 2

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Well, 2009 wasn't all wine, roses and George Clooney. Welcome to the dirty, seedy underbelly of 2009 in film, the 2nd Annual Doobie Awards (that is, the more dubious honors).

Most Disappointing Film

Well there was no shortage of disappointing films this year. A lot of films I disliked this year had lots of potential. But the Doobie is going to go to a movie that I didn't actually dislike. It was a film from a masterpiece of a novel that was just a pretty-good movie that I felt like I was forgetting almost as I watching it. The Doobie goes to The Road. Viggo is pretty good in it. The kid is pretty good. Everyone's pretty good. There was just nothing special about the film. It was actually kind of boring at times. I actually think if I hadn't read the book, I would have found the film totally intolerable. The relationship between the father and the son isn't nearly as developed as it needed to be and I had to rely on my recollections from the book to fill in the blanks. There were good things, about it, of course, but this is the rant half of the blog. Lackluster

I also had my high hopes crushed and spat upon by: The Girlfriend Experience, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Watchmen (if for nothing else than the owl-head sex scene - Ugh!), Funny People (which I do not understand the hype about), Observe and Report and Invictus (if you don't understand the rules of rugby, about one half of this movie is dreadfully boring. Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon alone made it watchable.).

Most Surprisingly Good Film

This is the 'this film should have sucked but somehow it was awesome' award . This award goes to Orphan, which is essentially The Hand That Rocks the Cradle meets The Bad Seed - doesn't that sound terrible? I've already discussed my extreme dislike for child actors and the little girl in this movie, Isabelle Fuhrman, plays on those visceral feelings expertly. And typically, I'm not a horror fan. This still may be the most effectively atmospheric horror movie I've seen since The Descent. I say grab some popcorn and give it a try.

Honorable mentions: World's Greatest Dad. Surprisingly good because it stars Robin Williams and was directed by Bobcat Goldthwait (yeah...that guy with the nails-on-chalkboard voice from the Police Academy movies). It was really quite good, though. Also the first 45 minutes of both 2012 and Knowing which took such drastic nosedives after exciting beginnings that I think my ears may have popped a little.

The Impossible Expectation for Most Overhyped Good Film

Gotta go to Fantastic Mr. Fox. I dunno, I recognize that it's a movie that does a lot right. It's a book I loved as a child. The stop motion is really well-done. The scene toward the end with the wolf is one of the unexpectedly funniest things I've seen all year. But I heard WAY too many good things about this movie going in and it ruined the experience. I was a little disappointed. Every year my goal is not to have any movies fit for this category but I keep letting other people's raves get my hopes too high.

The Best Film Nobody Saw

I'm gonna go with Sin Nombre, a wonderful, sad little Mexican film about both illegal immigrants and the pervasiveness of street gangs, that I don't think got much of a proper release here. It's also available online through Netflix. Check it out, too.

The Worst Film Everybody Saw - a.k.a. among the top 20 grossing films of the year

Well, I never made it out to see that Twilight thing, which I know I would have hated, so this Doobie goes to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It's awful. Don't see it. Megan Fox gives the worst female performance of the year; I was tempted to create an award called the 'Michael Bay Memorial Award for Worst Direction' and give it to Michael Bay; It's so ineptly made in just about every way. Please don't see this film. It makes last year's winner, Quantum of Solace, look like an exercise in understatement.

Flat Out Worst Film of the Year

Well luckily, 2009 didn't give us anything as bad as The Happening, although I did see an older movie that took over the mantle as the official worst movie I have ever, ever, ever seen - The Cuba Gooding, Jr. masterpiece: Boat Trip. 2009, though, gave us something almost as bad that I forced myself to sit all the way through, more or less just so I could present it with this award in good conscience. I not referring to the atrocious All About Steve or G.I. Joe, the unforgiveable Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li or the inexplicably high grossing Transformers or Paul Blart: Mall Cop (geez, when did I find time to see this sh*t?). No, the worst film of the year was Harold Ramis' pathetic, nonsensical and painfully unfunny "comedy" - Year One. It's bad. Just trust me.


Well, that's 2009 in the bag. Unfortunately I never got the chance to see Sherlock Holmes, The Lovely Bones, The White Ribbon, The Last Station, A Single Man or The Three-Word Movie-Title. I'll try to do better next year. Hope this one didn't offend anyone (Please don't let there be any angry Year One fans out there). Did I miss anything good...or bad?

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Updated 01-11-2010 at 05:38 AM by munchin

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Comments

  1. mmmm8's Avatar
    OK, I'm slow. Wat's "The Three-Word Movie-Title"?

    Nice list with some good recommendations, thanks!
  2. munchin's Avatar
    It's a really bad joke, m8. It was like 5 in the morning.
    Updated 01-11-2010 at 02:00 PM by munchin
  3. nelslus's Avatar
    I actually liked The Girlfriend Experience a great deal- three to three and a half stars for me. Interesting.

    Will definitely check out Orphan- LOVES me horror films- and with Vera and Sarsgaard in it, and your recommendation- I'm in. (Plus, if I hate it, my munchin hateful disdain will still make everything worthwhile.)

    I otherwise go well out of my way to avoid movies that I know I will hate- but I am deeply appreciative that you don't carry this same self-respecting trait (albeit, this wouldn't explain 2012.)
  4. mmmm8's Avatar
    Yeah, I got it was a joke, but I didn't understand which movie it referred to
  5. munchin's Avatar
    I guess I was commenting that all the movies I've missed from 2009 seem to be called "The something something" or "A something something." Three word...movie...title?.......fail
  6. Jay's Avatar
    lol It's funny after the explanation.

    I wanted to see Year One after watching the previews. Now I'm glad I didn't end up watching the movie
  7. aedra1119's Avatar
    I love your reviews, munchin! Thanks for the heads up about Invictus. I've been looking forward to that movie for a while, but I might wait to get it on netflix at this point. I love movies, but I wish it didn't cost so much to see them in the theaters!
  8. mmmm8's Avatar
    No, you got it, it was funny. I'm just not too perceptive. Thought you were referring to some specific movie everyone talked about but you didn't see and couldn't figure out what it could have been.
  9. munchin's Avatar
    I know what you mean, Aedra. The movies set me back quite a bit of money in the past couple months but until I'm made an honorary member of the Academy and they start sending me free DVD screeners, I guess my wallet will have to suffer .
  10. munchin's Avatar
    Jessie, don't waste your time with Year One (that's rich coming from me, I know). It's sort of like being stuck on a bus in the window seat next to a smelly drunk guy with a shockingly low-brow sense of humor who is constantly threatening to vomit. Having experienced both that and Year One, I can say that my emotional response to both was very similar.
  11. Jay's Avatar
    LOL Oh my.
    "Hell no" to watching that, then.

    I hope to never experience that