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JTContinental
05-28-2017, 01:51 AM
Good morning, children, and welcome to Roland Garros, home of tennis' worst and most boring surface. Fortunately, the women's game is fairly seething with several veterans and The Next Big Things waiting to usurp last year's winner Garbine Muguruza, who has struggled with consistency and injuries all year. The tension and the drama is sure to be high with so many would-be Queens of the Terra Batu. I hope you brought your slippery shoes, as I will help you navigate across the plodding and methodical clay courts. Check here daily to review your picks and also to find out what you did wrong at the conclusion of each day.

Also, when you're red, you're dead.

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 02:26 AM
12345 Goerges
161stAndChilla Lucic-Baroni
_nivek Bacsinszky--Safarova
adicecream Ostapenko--Safarova
aggierules Williams--No Pick
aidsasis Giorgi
ajay-gov Williams--Jankovic
alias47 Bacsinszky--Flipkens--Garcia--Zhang--No Pick
alvinlimtc Bacsinszky--Jankovic
amb617 Goerges
Anne-Roy-Leape Ostapenko--Zhang--Garcia--Mladenovic--Suarez Navarro--Wozniacki--Radwanska
aroque Tsurenko--Pavlyuchenkova--Osaka
atlpam Mattek-Sands--Errani--Kr. Pliskova
Auburn84 Brengle--Flipkens--Suarez Navarro--Wozniacki--No Pick
azarenkas Lucic-Baroni
BankerB4 Bacsinszky--Wozniacki--Kr. Pliskova
barbarapotterfan Bacsinszky--Stosur--Kr. Pliskova
beths Timea Bacsinszky--Vesnina--Barthel
BHar11 Mattek-Sands--Pavlyuchenkova--Bouchard--Zhang--Vesnina--Wozniacki--Sevastova
blaker414 Lucic-Baroni
blomgren Lucic-Baroni
bluereggie Bacsinszky--Safarova
Bmoney3 Lucic-Baroni
borenore2 Vinci
BouchardBoiledEggs Williams--Pavlyuchenkova--Konta
bridgepea Tsurenko--No Pick
calvin_hobbes29 Ostapenko--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Bacsinszky--Konjuh
CanuckRaonic Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
Capitals32 Giorgi
Casperpod Lucic-Baroni
CatMan Bacsinszky--No Pick
cdavid99 Bacsinszky--Siniakova
Charlie02123 Ostapenko--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
charlie53 Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Sevastova--Makarova
Chillo Camila Giorgi
christinestiara Mattek-Sands--Safarova
Cimmerian Dodin--Larsson--Suarez Navarro--Rogers--Konjuh
ckelsall22 Ostapenko--Linette--Barthel
coachmando Ostapenko--Bellis--Vondrousova--Rogers--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Cepede Royg
Codge Goerges
Cookie-Monster Kvitova--Safarova
Correspondent-Kiu Goerges
Creamcheese McHale
csgnyc Lucic-Baroni
CyborgShoes Mattek-Sands--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
dave-g Williams--Davis
ddas828359 Lucic-Baroni
derosa132000 Rogers--Wozniacki--Vondrousova--Cibulkova
Deuce Ostapenko--Vandeweghe
dollymix Rogers--Linette--Martic--Makarova
dolphins343 Bacsinszky--Siniakova
dowser55 Tsurenko--Putintseva--Suarez Navarro--Bacsinszky--Hsieh--Williams--Cepede Royg
doylerd Bacsinszky--No Pick
Drop-shot Lucic-Baroni
dryrunguy Bacsinszky--Vandeweghe
DU-Pioneers Lucic-Baroni
duckylynt Lucic Baroni
Earth-dragon Bacsinszky--No Pick
Edmond-Dant�s Dodin--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
Elchie Rogers--Bellis--Barthel
Equipped Ostapenko--Jankovic
Ernesto_Gulbisvara Lucic-Baroni
eskimo_53 Giorgi
eyoung23 Rogers--Safarova
fastbacks Tsurenko--Gavrilova
FEBravo Lucic-Baroni
Federer70 Goerges
Federex Lucic-Baroni
fedmaster17 Mattek-Sands--Zhang--No Pick
flowerchild39 Lucic-Baroni
frost Rogers--Siniakova
g2gaynor Mattek-Sands--Errani--Radwanska--Wozniacki--Keys
GernBlandston Lucic-Baroni
gff0 Mattek-Sands--Bellis--Vondrousova--Mertens--Garcia--Wozniacki--Suarez Navarro
GlennHarman Bacsinszky--Vesnina--Radwanska--Makarova
Gordon-Joshua-Murray Ostapenko--Bellis--Kr. Pliskova
gracie Bacsinszky--Gavrilova
GreenGourd Ostapenko--Linette--Kr. Pliskova

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 02:48 AM
hawk99 Ostapenko--Putintseva--Barthel
hawkgirl98 Mattek-Sands--Jankovic
hotchocolate Williams--Vandeweghe
Hummingbird Goerges
I-Like-Good-People Ostapenko--Bertens--Vondrousova--Stosur--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Suarez Navarro
icor927 Lucic-Baroni
illiniwez85 Giorgi
improbabledream Goerges
inkblot1983 Tsurenko--No Pick
Irena2 Bacsinszky--Bellis--Garcia--Putintseva--Konjuh
IronMike Giorgi
jaimetennis Lucic-Baroni
James7 Goerges
janetb Rogers--Bellis--Kr. Pliskova
Jason11E Lucic-Baroni
jatagen Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
JazzNU Rogers--Putintseva--Keys--Makarova
jazzyg Ostapenko--Siniakova
JBK-50 Lucic Baroni
JCR14 Williams--Safarova
Jeff-in-TX Goerges
jenninlaca Ostapenko--Gavrilova
JieOllily0001 Kuznetsova--Stosur--Suarez Navarro--Putintseva--Sevastova--Bacsinszky--Garcia
jlakei Ostapenko--Gavrilova
jlhct Ostapenko--Safarova
jmcguire Kvitova--Bertens--Sevastova--Wozniacki--Suarez Navarro--Kuznetsova--Garcia
joanjettson Cibulkova--Pavlyuchenkova--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Konjuh
JoeCle Ostapenko--Bellis--Barthel
johndfisher Rogers--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
John D'oh Williams--Zhang--Radwanska--Makarova
JTContinental Rogers--Safarova
jumpfroggy Giorgi
jwcardinal11 Rogers--Safarova
kcgregg Bacsinszky--Gavrilova
Khethux Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Cornet--Puig
kirby077 Lucic-Baroni
Klaywien Goerges
Krishna Goerges
ktothem1 Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
laurjo Lucic-Baroni
lbk77 Lucic-Baroni
leaker Goerges
led14pa2 Bacsinszky--Bertens--Garcia--Makarova
lemur Goerges
Lemnos2 Goerges
leosash Mattek-Sands--Putintseva--Barthel
Leslie Lucic-Baroni
liam_valid Makarova--Larsson--Barthel
likembrave Lucic-Baroni
Lizling Bacsinszky--Abanda--Garcia--Stosur--Konjuh
lukeorion Rogers--Safarova
Lynn Lucic-Baroni
Madame Lucic-Baroni
Manila-Smash Ostapenko--Putintseva--Sevastova--Makarova
marsny Ostapenko--Safarova
Martini4me Williams--Safarova
matt2370 Lucic-Baroni
MayorGhouliani Bacsinszky--Vesnina--Suarez Navarro--Zhang--Pavlyuchenkova
mcbride10s Ostapenko--Bellis--Barthel
Mcrswan Williams--Flipkens--Suarez Navarro--Bacsinszky--Garcia--Wozniacki--Halep
MeganFernandez Lucic-Baroni
michaels123456 Bacsinszky--Errani--Radwanska--Wozniacki--Pavlyuchenkova
mikeprice4 Giorgi
Miles Lucic-Baroni
Mitch Lucic-Baroni
mmmm8 Bacsinszky--Pavlyuchenkova--No Pick
mocam57 Vinci
Moose Goerges
motobass Tsurenko--Safarova
mr_socko Tsurenko--Vesnina--Kr. Pliskova
mu_royals Rogers--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
munchin Bacsinszky--Konjuh--Radwanska--Wozniacki--Garcia--Williams--Sevastova
mysterX Kerber
nad55 Goerges
NatLee Mattek-Sands--Vesnina--Barthel
naughtyboiosu Ostapenko--Errani--No Pick
nelslus Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Suarez Navarro--Wozniacki--Garcia--Mladenovic--Sevastova
Net_Raider Lucic-Baroni
networthy Lucic-Baroni
New-England-Nitemare Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Radwanska--Cibulkova
nigel Kuznetsova--Vesnina--Keys--Putintseva--Suarez Navarro--No Pick
noedee Lucic-Baroni
nyjaney Lucic-Baroni
NYJJared Mattek-Sands--Safarova
oliver0001 Bacsinszky--Flipkens--Barthel
Omegadoom Ostapenko--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
omess Ostapenko--Linette--Barthel
oploskoffie Giorgi
orangeboy19 Lucic-Baroni
patmanmo Ostapenko--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
Patrick Kvitova--Bellis--Vondrousova--Wozniacki--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Suarez Navarro
Pattyfan Bacsinszky--Safarova
peppercornstuff Bacsinszky--Zhang--Bouchard--Stosur--Konjuh
PeteFan Ostapenko--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Makarova
PeterSkan Lucic-Baroni
pfj1976 Lucic-Baroni
phatsdawg Bacsinszky--Flipkens--Bouchard--Wozniacki--Garcia--Mladenovic--Sevastova
Philly10 Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Suarez Navarro--Zhang--Garcia--Mladenovic--Sevastova
pingponger Rogers--Safarova
ponchi101 Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Garcia--Wozniacki--Ka. Pliskova--Mladenovic--Sevastova
pressedham Lucic-Baroni
ptmcmahon Williams--Putintseva--Radwanska--Wozniacki--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Sevastova

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 02:59 AM
rashmi Tsurenko--Bellis--Vondrousova--Wozniacki--Konjuh
redclay Ostapenko--Parmentier--Strycova--Stosur--Radwanska--Bacsinszky--Vesnina
RedWard Lucic-Baroni
Ribbons Lucic-Baroni
rickym63 Ostapenko--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Wozniacki--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Sevastova
riley371 Lucic-Baroni
rj7dogz Mattek-Sands--Vandeweghe
rktct2b Ostapenko--Safarova
ron-tennisreporters Giorgi
Ruyiman Mattek-Sands--Gavrilova
scineram Bacsinszky--Mladenovic--Keys--Putintseva--Pavlyuchenkova
Scotty Bacsinszky--Safarova
shmrck14 Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Garcia--Wozniacki--Pavlyuchenkova
shtexas Kvitova--Zhang--Suarez Navarro--Wozniacki--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Sevastova
skatingfan Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Zhang--Pavlyuchenkova
slc2466 Mattek-Sands--Errani--Suarez Navarro--Wozniacki--Pavlyuchenkova
sluggo-13 Golubic
Snoo-Foo Ostapenko--Bellis--Vondrousova--Stosur--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Sevastova
sokoll Lucic-Baroni
soraethewitch Nara--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
SoulCandy93 Lucic-Baroni
Spencer Ostapenko--Siniakova
Sportsfan Rogers--Kontaveit--Barthel
srinathkng Mattek-Sands--Mladenovic--No Pick
stracciatella Goerges
suliso Lucic-Baroni
SW195AE Goerges
SwissBliss Williams--Mladenovic--Suarez Navarro--Cibulkova
tangerine Lucic-Baroni
tenedab Ostapenko--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Cibulkova
TennisAnyone74 Goerges
tennisbrp Williams--Safarova
tennisx18 Lucic-Baroni
tenor777 Lucic-Baroni
texasniteowl Bacsinszky--Lepchenko--Kr. Pliskova
the-Moz Goerges
the_shirtless_putins Bacsinszky--Errani--No Pick
thekaoboy Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
Theresa Bacsinszky--Flipkens--Garcia--Stosur--Konjuh
Tigress Cibulkova--Mladenovic--Radwanska--Kuznetsova--Vesnina--Williams--Sevastova
Togtdyalttai Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Garcia--Wozniacki--Keys
tolulops Ostapenko--Safarova
ubermitch Ostapenko--Putintseva--Vondrousova--Rogers--Garcia--Bacsinszky--Sevastova
udaneri Williams--Stosur--Keys--Kuznetsova--Pavlyuchenkova
UglyAmericain Lucic-Baroni
Verbalvolleys Lucic-Baroni
vexchaps Mattek-Sands--No Pick
waylandboy-tw Ostapenko--Putintseva--Kr. Pliskova
weefunk Lucic-Baroni
Woody Bacsinszky--Putintseva--Suarez Navarro--Bertens
yoort Kvitova--Pavlyuchenkova--Sevastova--Stosur--Konjuh

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 03:04 AM
We start with 231, by my count:

Mirjana Lucic-Baroni 51
Timea Bacsinszky 46
Jelena Ostapenko 34
Julia Goerges 20
Bethanie Mattek-Sands 16
Shelby Rogers 14
Venus Williams 13
Camila Giorgi 10
Lesia Tsurenko 8
Petra Kvitova 5
Dominika Cibulkova 2
Oceane Dodin 2
Svetlana Kuznetsova 2
Roberta Vinci 2
Madison Brengle 1
Viktorija Golubic 1
Angelique Kerber 1
Christina McHale 1
Ekaterina Makarova 1
Karumi Nara 1

suliso
05-28-2017, 04:58 AM
And we have our first serious bandwagon going down. This one is unexpected to me. I considered Goerges as well plus she started her match so well...

ponchi101
05-28-2017, 05:30 AM
Kudos to the Makarova picker. I know we all knew Kerber would not be a favorite here, but still, betting against a #1 seed in a first round takes a lot of suicidal courage.

liam_valid
05-28-2017, 05:41 AM
Kudos to the Makarova picker. I know we all knew Kerber would not be a favorite here, but still, betting against a #1 seed in a first round takes a lot of suicidal courage.

Thanks, but i think the Kerber picker had bigger balls than me!

ponchi101
05-28-2017, 05:49 AM
Ok, now it makes sense. We know you are not totally right in the head :cheesy:

So, at this rate. When do we think the WTA side of the pool will be decided? I say second Monday.

suliso
05-28-2017, 06:04 AM
So, at this rate. When do we think the WTA side of the pool will be decided? I say second Monday.

I'm still planning to beat the draw :p

skatingfan
05-28-2017, 07:51 AM
Ok, now it makes sense. We know you are not totally right in the head :cheesy:

So, at this rate. When do we think the WTA side of the pool will be decided? I say second Monday.

I doubt it will last that long. It could be over tomorrow for all we know.

omess
05-28-2017, 09:22 AM
Mirjana Lucic-Baroni 51 the day 1 biggest bw about to crash

Madame
05-28-2017, 09:54 AM
sunday bloody sunday ... :(

GlennHarman
05-28-2017, 10:21 AM
Depending on the remaining matches, we may not miss losing 50% of the players on day one by much. This seems to be typical any more for the women's slams. GH

ponchi101
05-28-2017, 11:44 AM
I said it somewhere. It will be 50% chance in all WTA matches.
In the men's: 60-40.

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 01:48 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 1

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That's the sound the brakes made on all the bandwagons that tried to slow their roll into the finish line and failed, crashing into the sidelines and flinging the body parts of hapless suicide pool victims into the stands. Honestly, people--Mirjana Lucic-Baroni? Of course, it's easy for me to be flippant, as 1) I am safely through to Day 2, and 2) I am never wrong.

On the court, there was a fair bit of drama too, as Angie Kerber became the first top seed in the open era to lose in the first round of the French Open--congrats, girl! #1 again...

Speaking of flippant, it's very hot here in Seattle, and I found the prospect sitting in front of a computer and telling everyone where they went wrong with their stupid picks to be exhausting, so I've decided to sit this one out. Instead, I will let that honor fall on the losing ladies themselves, who were all so very kind enough to text me their words of discouragement immediately following their on court disappointments. This tournament, I will be passing their messages on to you. Happy French Open, losers!

Where It Went Wrong for You, the Loser

Mirjana Lucic-Baroni (51) Hahahaha, I really fooled you! In the afterglow of my first grand slam semifinal in 18 years, the light is so dim that you failed to notice that all of those wins were practically my first victories during those 18 years. Sure, I've had some wins this year, but did you really think I'd be ready for Paris because I beat Kiki Berten and that one dope fiend? Dream on! All my best, Mirjana!

PS--I just noticed I've had the same "mail order bride in an Estonian nightclub" photo as my profile on the WTA site since TMQ saw it on the Jumbotron at the 2007 US Open. I sure wish I still looked like that! --MLB

Julia Goerges (20 victims)--Liebliche TAT--I'm so sorry, I'm just as flummoxed as you. I'd heard Madison Brengle lost a match to a ball machine earlier this year, so I came in confident and ripped through that first set. Then something happened--I don't know, it's so hot today--and I completely forgot how to hit the ball so that it landed inside the court. At least I was able to draw it out as long and painfully as possible, and add a little suspense to your weekend. See you at Wimbledon--Gurgs

Camila Giorgi (10 victims) Hello, my TAT friends! I hate to bring you the bad news, but you made a rookie mistake. You thought you'd skate through picking against a homer you've never heard of, but Oceane Dodin is not your typical homer. She hates France and all it stands for, so feels no pressure to perform for a crowd who doesn't care if she lives or dies. Plus, I hit so big that you are tempted to pick me, but more often than not I don't hit anything within the lines! So sorry, I will send flowers to your families. Camila

Roberta Vinci (2 victims) I'm 100 years old and slow as a donkey, and I don't care what you think. Arreviderci, mother*****rs--Bertie

Viktorija Golubic (1 victim) Thanks for your misplaced confidence, my one and only fan! Until we meet again--the other Vika

Angelique Kerber (1 victim) You wanted to point out specifically that I wasn't going to go very far in this tournament. Congratulations, you were right! Forever, Angelique

Christia McHale (1 victim) You must have inhaled before you McHaled, cuz there was no way I was beating Sveta today. Bye now--Christina

yoort
05-28-2017, 03:35 PM
Roberta Vinci (2 victims) I'm 100 years old and slow as a donkey, and I don't care what you think. Arreviderci, mother*****rs--Bertie


l o l

I Like Good People
05-28-2017, 03:38 PM
Thanks, but i think the Kerber picker had bigger balls than me!

A classic humble brag...LOL.

mysterX
05-28-2017, 04:27 PM
I just thought it would be cool to pick a number 1 seed in the first day of a GS. Now that I can check that off my bucket list...on to Wimbledon.

tenedab
05-28-2017, 04:31 PM
It's very creative and funny, JT!

improbabledream
05-28-2017, 06:10 PM
JT clay is the best surface by far

JTContinental
05-28-2017, 07:27 PM
JT clay is the best surface by far

Someone tries to tell me this every year, but I'll never believe. :cheesy:

Irena2
05-28-2017, 09:08 PM
motobass and I just ended our day with this - we laughed so hard - we had JUST been shaking our heads in disbelief about "Gurgs" pickers when we started reading. We had to wipe the tears from our eyes! Thank you!

improbabledream
05-28-2017, 11:39 PM
Someone tries to tell me this every year, but I'll never believe. :cheesy:

I know I get it. Nothing compares to Wimbledon, where a meat head like Raonic can win it just because he has a big serve. I can see how that is superior.

JTContinental
05-29-2017, 02:40 AM
Day 2 numbers--I count 135, after 7 no picks. Y'all have a lot more faith in Putintseva than I do.

Yulia Putintseva 34
Lucie Safarova 21
Catherine Bellis 12
Kirsten Flipkens 6
Daria Gavrilova 6
Sara Errani 6
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova 6
Elena Vesnina 6
Katerina Siniakova 5
Shuai Zhang 5
Jelena Jankovic 4
Kristina Mladenovic 4
Coco Vandeweghe 4
Kiki Bertens 3
Samantha Stosur 3
Caroline Wozniacki 2
Johanna Larsson 2
Francoise Abanda 1
Lauren Davis 1
Ana Konjuh 1
Anett Kontaveit 1
Varvara Lepchenko 1
Pauline Parmentier 1

soraethewitch
05-29-2017, 03:28 AM
Faith well placed! One of the first results of the day good work Poots :D

Charlie02123
05-29-2017, 05:30 AM
I know I get it. Nothing compares to Wimbledon, where a meat head like Raonic can win it just because he has a big serve. I can see how that is superior.
Shots fired! :hyst:

GreenGourd
05-29-2017, 05:49 AM
Day 2 numbers--I count 135, after 7 no picks. Y'all have a lot more faith in Putintseva than I do.

Yulia Putintseva 34
Lucie Safarova 21
Catherine Bellis 12
Kirsten Flipkens 6
Daria Gavrilova 6
Sara Errani 6
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova 6
Elena Vesnina 6
Katerina Siniakova 5
Shuai Zhang 5
Jelena Jankovic 4
Kristina Mladenovic 4
Coco Vandeweghe 4
Kiki Bertens 3
Samantha Stosur 3
Caroline Wozniacki 2
Johanna Larsson 2
Francoise Abanda 1
Lauren Davis 1
Ana Konjuh 1
Anett Kontaveit 1
Varvara Lepchenko 1
Pauline Parmentier 1

There are some Linette(!) pickers, too?

ponchi101
05-29-2017, 06:41 AM
AS we have no I LIKE buttons, great job JT. The Vinci letter is... so charming :)

PeterSkan
05-29-2017, 07:48 AM
I want to specifically commend the poster who picked Francoise Abanda. Bravo!

jazzyg
05-29-2017, 08:25 AM
Good to see I could hand Alexandrova her first win of the year by picking her opponent.

JTContinental
05-29-2017, 10:53 AM
All tournaments should be played on grass (Raonic is incidentally my favorite player in the men's tour). I love to watch a huge serve combined with a volley or a winner to the open court; much better than watching two guys moan and run from corner to corner for five hours.

dryrunguy
05-29-2017, 10:57 AM
All tournaments should be played in grass (Rainic is incidentally my favorite player in the men's tour. I love to watch a huge serve combined with a volley or a winner to the open court; much better than watching two guys moan an run from corner to corner for five hours.

LOL! I'm just the opposite. I grew up watching Breakfast at Wimbledon and was barely aware there was a tournament called Roland Garros. Now I tolerate grasscourt tennis while Roland Garros has become my favorite major--because I like watching players grinding out the points.

suliso
05-29-2017, 11:07 AM
I think I'll go for AO as the best slam. :)

ponchi101
05-29-2017, 11:07 AM
I just wish you could play two styles. I miss Edberg and Sampras and Navs and Mandlikova so much.
McEnroe too, if he had not been such a tool.

JTContinental
05-29-2017, 11:33 AM
There are some Linette(!) pockets, too?

Yep, they must have gotten erased while I was reformatting.

liam_valid
05-29-2017, 11:43 AM
USO is the best as it starts UK time just as I'm getting home from work in the evenings so I get to watch it all

JTContinental
05-29-2017, 11:46 AM
LOL! I'm just the opposite. I grew up watching Breakfast at Wimbledon and was barely aware there was a tournament called Roland Garros. Now I tolerate grasscourt tennis while Roland Garros has become my favorite major--because I like watching players grinding out the points.

Serving and coming to the net is how I play, as well, so maybe I'm just a narcissist and like to watch myself. :D

JTContinental
05-29-2017, 01:10 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 2 (Roland Garros 2017 Edition)

What a great idea! With the women doing all the work both on the court and off, TMQ barely even needs to get out of bed to write these brief introductions. This was particularly useful today, when our usually reliable women's tennis ESP suffered a rare off day. Everyone we thought would struggle sailed through, and vice versa. There's always tomorrow...

In the meantime, no problem! Half of these losers couldn't even wait to get off the court before they had their phones in hand, furiously texting us their post-match musings, and now TMQ passes them on to you, also a loser:

Where It Went Wrong For You, the Loser

Lucie Safarova (21 victims, including TMQ): I've never heard of this woman, outside of the inexplicable wild cards she's gotten into the last two Olympics, so I thought it might be fun to spot her a 6-1, 5-0 lead, and see if I can make a comeback. Turns out, that's a big NOPE! Don't worry; you'll still see me at the end of next week, when I hoist the doubles trophy. #slowclap Toodles! Lucie

Daria Gavrilova (6 victims) Wow, I'm having a great season, huh? Huge wins and deep runs in big tournaments that I never thought possible before. I'm enjoying it so much, I decided to play a grueling clay court schedule, including three loooooong three set matches just the week before the French Open. Boy, am I tired! I can't wait for this time next year, where I will have lost half of the ranking points I've accumulated so far. Animatedly yours, Daria PS--Go Venus!

Katerina Siniakova (5 victims) If you looked up "flash in the pan" in the WTA handbook, you'd see a big old picture of me. See you next year in qualies!

Jelena Jankovic (4 victims) I've never liked tennis, and now I only play it so I can exercise my true passion, which is flailing my arms and barking unspeakable things in Serbian to anyone who is unfortunate enough to cross my path. F*** off, JJ

Coco Vandeweghe (4 victims) GRRRRRRRR! ROOOOOAR! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! COCO SMAAAAAAASHHHHHH! COCO KILLLLLLLLLL!

Lauren Davis (1 victim) I'm sorry, did you mean to pick me? Stupid autocorrect. Better luck next year--Lauren

dryrunguy
05-29-2017, 01:24 PM
Serving and coming to the net is how I play, as well, so maybe I'm just a narcissist and like to watch myself. :D

Finally, you and belslus have something in common...

SwissBliss
05-29-2017, 01:30 PM
I think I'll go for AO as the best slam. :)

I concur! Elegant 18 ��
5859

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 02:31 AM
Day 3 numbers--I count 95 survivors after subtracting 5 no picks and 2 zombies:

Kristyna Pliskova 21
Marketa Vondrousova 13
Mona Barthel 12
Carla Suarez Navarro 12
Caroline Garcia 11
Agnieszka Radwanska 8
Madison Keys 4
Anastasija Sevastova 4
Eugenie Bouchard 3
Alize Cornet 1
Johanna Konta 1
Petra Martic 1
Naomi Osaka 1
Barbora Strycova 1

mmmm8
05-30-2017, 10:19 AM
So... I guess I never pressed submit on yesterday's Women's pick. I'll see myself to my proper place in the Losers' Lounge.

Woody
05-30-2017, 11:29 AM
The wheels are quickly falling off today's bandwagon. Down 0-3 in the third.

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 11:33 AM
Today's bandwagon is down two breaks in the third

ponchi101
05-30-2017, 11:35 AM
Trivia. When was the last time the #1 and #2 players, in either men's or women's, were knocked out in the first round?

Woody
05-30-2017, 11:40 AM
Trivia. When was the last time the #1 and #2 players, in either men's or women's, were knocked out in the first round?

Has that actually happened? Given how shocking and rare it is that just the #1 seed loses in R1, I'll be amazed if this has happened more than once.

ponchi101
05-30-2017, 11:41 AM
Yes. It has happened before.

charlie53
05-30-2017, 11:44 AM
1990 Edberg #1 and Becker #2 both lost in round one (to Bruguera and Ivanisovic) :)

ponchi101
05-30-2017, 11:49 AM
And Plyskova and Kerber indeed match that feat.
They are going to watch Wonder Woman together this weekend.

joanjettson
05-30-2017, 11:52 AM
This was Sister Pliska, not the star

charlie53
05-30-2017, 11:55 AM
Aren't we getting our Pliskova's mixed up?

liam_valid
05-30-2017, 12:03 PM
2nd seed Pliskova won her match easily

Woody
05-30-2017, 12:17 PM
Oh! I wondered why Ponchi was asking this question!

ponchi101
05-30-2017, 03:28 PM
Am I banned? I should be... :cry:

gff0
05-30-2017, 04:04 PM
I count 60 remaining after Round One. That seems unprecedented.

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 04:16 PM
It's a lot, but I don't think unprecedented. The FO usually gets fewer suicide pool contestants than the other slams, for some reason.

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 04:37 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 3 (2017 French Open Edition)

Sorry for the late report, all, but real life and all...what's really startling is how often Johanna Konta has texted TMQ today because she didn't see her message to her victim/fan posted yet. Divas.

We dropped another 1/3 of our merry band today, so it's starting to seem a bit roomier. And now for the messages:

Kristyna Pliskova (21 victims) Stop calling me the lesser Pliskova! I'm just as talented on clay as my sister, which just happens to be "not very." Also, this pressure was unfair--this loss was probably all your fault. --Krissy

Mona Barthel (12 victims) These courts are playing like grass courts. That could be the only explanation as to why I got bageled in a set by Pironkova on clay. For future reference, I'm just a name you read in the draw, not one you pick to win or lose.

Johanna Konta (1 victim) What you didn't know is that I used my $40,000 in first round prize money to book a first class flight to London during one of the changeovers. Pick me again in a few weeks (but not so early on). --Jojo

Naomi Osaka (1 victim) I love making unforced errors, and they are so easy to do on clay! I was losing games just to hear the chair umpire say, "Game, van Uytvanck," because it sounded like she was throwing a set of bagpipes down a stairwell--so funny! --Naomi

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 04:47 PM
PS--My ESP is back online, because I knew the Pliskova pickers were not going to go through.

ponchi101
05-30-2017, 05:36 PM
Please open the UPDATED thread after tomorrow. It is always such a consolation price.

improbabledream
05-30-2017, 10:41 PM
All tournaments should be played on grass (Raonic is incidentally my favorite player in the men's tour). I love to watch a huge serve combined with a volley or a winner to the open court; much better than watching two guys moan and run from corner to corner for five hours.

Matches on clay do tend to drag on. Remember that plodding and methodical match that took 3 days and ended 70 to 68 in the fifth? (:

JTContinental
05-30-2017, 11:24 PM
They'd still be playing that match if it was on clay.

JTContinental
05-31-2017, 02:27 AM
Day 4 numbers--all 57 remaining players made a pick today, plus two zombies

Caroline Wozniacki 16
Ekaterina Makarova 8
Samantha Stosur 7
Shuai Zhang 5
Timea Bacsinszky 4
Dominika Cibulkova 4
Yulia Putintseva 4
Shelby Rogers 3
Svetlana Kuznetsova 2
Kiki Bertens 1
Elise Mertens 1
Kristina Mladenovic 1
Monica Puig 1

ponchi101
05-31-2017, 06:45 AM
And as Caroline Wozniacki takes the court, my only question to my fellow bandwagoneers is:
What were we thinking?

derosa132000
05-31-2017, 06:51 AM
Caro can lose to anyone on clay, any match...definitely a "fetal position" couple of hours for the Wozniacki backers lol. I took her in the first round and sweated it out!

skatingfan
05-31-2017, 06:52 AM
And as Caroline Wozniacki takes the court, my only question to my fellow bandwagoneers is:
What were we thinking?

That she's playing a player playing her 3rd Grand Slam match ever?

ponchi101
05-31-2017, 07:05 AM
Fourth Round
"Caroline Wozniacki Vs Helen Keller"
Uhm...........
(Ponchi goes and checks the H2H. Still unsure to pick her)

ponchi101
05-31-2017, 07:42 AM
I really have to start taking some tranquilizers or start smoking pot.
I worry too much.

joanjettson
05-31-2017, 07:57 AM
No one picked Hogenkamp?
5860

Martini4me
05-31-2017, 08:43 AM
Caro can lose to anyone on clay, any match...definitely a "fetal position" couple of hours for the Wozniacki backers lol. I took her in the first round and sweated it out!

On the other hand, maybe you guys should get a bonus for the double-bagel. A free pass through day 5, maybe?

ptmcmahon
05-31-2017, 08:44 AM
And as Caroline Wozniacki takes the court, my only question to my fellow bandwagoneers is:
What were we thinking?

I went back to my old SP rule. When in doubt pick against the Canadian. :)

JTContinental
05-31-2017, 05:13 PM
Check back later tonight to find out where you went wrong today, non winners!

JTContinental
05-31-2017, 09:59 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 4 (Roland Garros 2017 Edition)

It's late, so let's get straight to what the ladies had to say to you today...

Where It Went Wrong For You, the Loser

Ekaterina Makarova (8 victims) I already accomplished all that I needed to in Round 1. It was kind of shocking that I even did that, since historically I don't play well here. I'd say pick me at the US Open two years ago, but now it's best to just pretend I'm not here. --Maks

Dominika Cibulkova (4 victims) I have trouble stringing wins together ever since I married quite possibly the world's most attractive man--I wonder if it's related somehow? Like my good friend Maks said above, I'm a better choice for hardcourts, anyway. --Domi

Kiki Bertens (1 victim) I'm so happy that I lost all those points, so everyone can go back to not expecting anything from me. I laughed so hard every time I saw those seed numbers by my name. Kiki is dead, long live CiCi! --KB

Monica Puig (1 victim) I'm not really a performer at the slams, having only making it past the 3rd round of one just once in my career, and it wasn't here. Outside of 1 tournament, I've had a hard time winning matches since the Olympics.

JTContinental
06-01-2017, 02:06 AM
Day 5 numbers: 41 remain, after subtracting 2 no picks and 1 zombie

Caroline Garcia 14
Ana Konjuh 9
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova 7
Carla Suarez Navarro 3
Madison Keys 2
Elena Vesnina 2
Su-Wei Hsieh 1
Karolina Pliskova 1
Agnieska Radwanska 1
Anastesija Sevastova 1

g2gaynor
06-01-2017, 03:35 AM
has there ever been this few number of people left after just the second round? 41 began today (with picks) and we lost 9 since Konjuh forgot to show up...down to 32 (FOR NOW).

could we have a winner by the quarters?!?

ponchi101
06-01-2017, 05:08 AM
I said we would have the winner by next Monday. I was being optimistic.

shtexas
06-01-2017, 11:36 AM
has there ever been this few number of people left after just the second round? 41 began today (with picks) and we lost 9 since Konjuh forgot to show up...down to 32 (FOR NOW).

could we have a winner by the quarters?!?

If it is the fewest, it's not by much. The women's pool has always been volatile.

ponchi101
06-01-2017, 01:50 PM
We started with 231 people, we are down to 23 in 5 days. Roughly 40% attrition rate per day.
Just saying

JTContinental
06-01-2017, 08:05 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 5 (Roland Garros 2017 Edition)

Ladies are live on their phones NOW, waiting to text you and tell you why you lost. Standard text rates may apply.

Where It Went Wrong For You, the Loser

Ana Konjuh (9 victims) I want to go back to juniors, where my opponents don't hit the ball back! I might possibly be a future star, but I'm not ready for the big time yet.

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (7 victims) TMQ told me personally that he puts a jinx on players who pick me because he hates typing my name. Lawyers are possibly getting involved.

Madison Keys (2 victims) I was playing so well until my wrist gave out on me again. I'm hoping I don't turn into the del Potro of the women's tour. Fingers crossed for Wimbledon! Maddie

calvin_hobbes29
06-01-2017, 08:18 PM
I was mad at myself for forgetting to change my pick from Konjuh to Pavlyuchenkova last night like I'd intended, but at least my loss happened while I was asleep instead of being gut-wrenching while I was awake. Condolences to the Pavlyuchenkova mini-bandwagon.

The way this draw is shaping up, I'm almost happy I lost.

munchin
06-01-2017, 09:41 PM
I'm screwed. I am so screwed.

If I want any chance of making it much further, I really have to pick from the Ostapenko-Tsurenko match, which seems like a coin flip. Or I could play it safe and pretty much run out of picks by the SF, which is the current plan. No clue what to do.

improbabledream
06-01-2017, 11:26 PM
I'm screwed. I am so screwed.

If I want any chance of making it much further, I really have to pick from the Ostapenko-Tsurenko match, which seems like a coin flip. Or I could play it safe and pretty much run out of picks by the SF, which is the current plan. No clue what to do.

Pick tsurenko. That help?

suliso
06-01-2017, 11:39 PM
I'd pick Ostapenko, but I'm also dead from day 1...

JTContinental
06-01-2017, 11:51 PM
TMQ would also recommend Ostapenko, but remains impartial.

liam_valid
06-02-2017, 12:19 AM
I'd pick Ostapenko for the SP, then put a bet on Tsurenko at the bookies, you can't lose!!

JTContinental
06-02-2017, 02:11 AM
Day 6 numbers: 22 remain after 1 no pick

Timea Bacsinszky 10
Caroline Wozniacki 4
Venus Williams 3
Kristina Mladenovic 4
Svetlana Kuznetsova 1

patrick
06-02-2017, 03:30 AM
I'm screwed. I am so screwed.

If I want any chance of making it much further, I really have to pick from the Ostapenko-Tsurenko match, which seems like a coin flip. Or I could play it safe and pretty much run out of picks by the SF, which is the current plan. No clue what to do.

Thought about Ostapenko but saved her for R16 in case Mattek-Sands win over Stosur.

munchin
06-02-2017, 07:34 AM
I fell asleep, so my "chicken out" pick remained :cheesy:

Shoulda picked Ostapenko

nelslus
06-02-2017, 11:42 AM
I fell asleep, so my "chicken out" pick remained :cheesy:

Shoulda picked Ostapenko

Fortunately, in that alternate universe, if we had picked Ostapenko, she would have lost. (I had thought about it, too.) :gorgeous:

JTContinental
06-02-2017, 11:48 AM
Wozniacki pickers: remember to make a Day 7 pick, just in case!

liam_valid
06-02-2017, 12:16 PM
Tsurenko only hit ONE winner the whole match (and 23 UEs)!! Surely the easiest SP pick in history for the Ostapenko pickers

suliso
06-02-2017, 12:19 PM
Did anyone at all picked her?

liam_valid
06-02-2017, 12:25 PM
Did anyone at all picked her?

Oops you're right, they didn't!!

improbabledream
06-02-2017, 01:23 PM
I thought she was a tsure thing.
Seriously though, i told that one dude to pick tsurenko because one time i saw ostapenko cry on court. Im not in this i lost i should go away

JTContinental
06-02-2017, 01:23 PM
Tuesday Morning Quarterback--Day 6 (Roland Garros 2017 edition)

All the women playing today were far too busy winning to text little ol' TMQ, although I've got a ... on my phone from Caroline Wozniacki, so she may be typing something.

Enjoy your victories today, because I think tomorrow will be a pivotal day in the pool--if you're looking to save Halep or Pliskova, you're going to facing some rough choices. Allez!

JTContinental
06-02-2017, 01:25 PM
I thought she was a tsure thing.
Seriously though, i told that one dude to pick tsurenko because one time i saw ostapenko cry on court. Im not in this i lost i should go away

lol

Tsurenko is a backboard, so she's a tough out, but if Ostapenko can stop acting like a spoiled brat on court, she'll contend for slams.

JTContinental
06-03-2017, 02:15 AM
Day 7 numbers: 22 remain, although 4 souls are still in limbo

Anastesija Sevastova 12 (????)
Carla Suarez Navarro 3
Veronica Cepede Royg 2
Caroline Garcia 2
Simona Halep 1
Agnieska Radwanska 1
Elena Vesnina 1

ponchi101
06-03-2017, 04:21 AM
Day 7 numbers: 22 remain, although 4 souls are still in limbo

Anastesija Sevastova 12 (????)
Carla Suarez Navarro 3
Veronica Cepede Royg 2
Caroline Garcia 2
Simona Halep 1
Agnieska Radwanska 1
Elena Vesnina 1

Playing the last qualifier in the draw, likes clay and it was either this or picking between the Vesnina/CSN match (those people were brave) or going the safe way between Radwanska and Cornet, which we can see how that went.
Plus I don't know about the rest of the people but picking from other matches would have been painting myself in a corner. I really need some players to start losing (i.e. Garcia)

jazzyg
06-03-2017, 07:46 AM
I've been eliminated since day 2, but yeah, Sevastova seems like the obvious pick. I had her going to the quarters before the tournament started. She's been outstanding on clay this year.

JTContinental
06-03-2017, 12:33 PM
It's not the pick so much as the sheer number who made it.

Since there was very little action today, Tuesday Morning Quarterback has been rained out. I've got a text from Radwanska, but I'll hang on to it until tomorrow.

Remember to make a day 8 pick, even if your day 7 choice has not made it through yet.