View Full Version : Religious Jokes

10-29-2004, 09:41 AM
A dangerous topic religion is ... so, here is a link to some very funny, and tastefull, religious jokes (I've read about 10). If you find a good one here, http://thegilletteplace.com/humor/relig_humor.htm , or elsewhere, please post it so that we can laugh together about our human need to explain the unexplainable.

This one was too cute not to share:

"Dear God"... Kid Style"

Dear God,
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.

Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.

Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison

Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.

Dear God:
Did you really mean Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You, because if you did then I'm going to fix my brother.

Dear God,
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

Dear God,
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God,
Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year.

Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.

Dear God,
If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Mickey D.

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on Vacation?

Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was Cool.

10-29-2004, 09:55 AM
These are really good ... cannot stop reading. I think maybe even an atheist like kirkus might find himself chuckling over this one:

Christian vs. Atheist

Scene - A suburban city school in 'Somewhere'

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal
tendencies explains to her class
of small children that she is an atheist.
She asks her class if they are atheists too.

Not really knowing what atheism is
but wanting to be like their teacher,
their hands explode into the air
like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception.
A beautiful girl named Lucy
has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided
to be different.

"Because I'm not an atheist."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now.
Her face slightly red.
She asks Lucy why she is a Christian.

"Well, my Mom is a Christian,
and my dad is a Christian,
so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry.
"That's no reason," she says loudly.
"What about if your Mom was a moron,
and your dad was a moron.
What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile.

"Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."