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Sebastien447
10-25-2004, 02:19 AM
This is just a joke and not meant to be taken seriously!

Jesus Slams God as Dead Beat Dad
http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/cutenews/data/upimages/jesus.jpg
In a move that shocked and surprised the Christian community, Jesus Christ, Son of God, has called his Father a dead beat dad in His tell-all autobiography "King of Kings?".

"First off, He goes and gets my mother pregnant, and then He doesn't even have the nerve to tell her to her face. She had to find out from one of His friends!" Christ lamented. "Then, He drops her like a hot potato. Fortunately, she found a nice guy, Joseph, to live with. Now, Joseph's a nice guy and everything, he accepted Me as his own son, and he taught Me trades, but I still feel like I'm lacking that special bond that sons possess with their Fathers." Christ then began to weep. "In all of My thirty-three years, do you think I've seen one cent in child support? And whose idea do you think it was for me to die so that others will have eternal life? My last words were, 'Daddy, Daddy, where are you, Daddy?!'. It was only that would-be writer John that claimed I said 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?' and that 'the prophecy is accomplished' crap. My dad was also into polygamy. Do you know how many women say they're married to the Lord?"

Christ then bent forward. 'I don't even want to think of how many children He has. Hopefully He's been a better daddy to them. Only one should feel this kind of pain.'

"Dead beat dads are text book cases," states Tabitha Melfi, author of "What to do When One Parent Doesn't Love You". "And it's certainly not surprising when God is called one. He has the classic characteristics: He's too busy worrying about business affairs, and some would call him distant, even unattached. Where was God during the Holocaust? Where was God when the Tutsis were being slaughtered? Why the 'tough love' approach all the time?"
Anthony Falco was one of the many Christians surprised at the claim. "This changes my whole relationship with Him," Falco stated. "If God doesn't even care for His only Son adequately, how do I know He will look after me and my family?" Falco then went on to say he would look for a more responsible deity to worship.

Cardinal John Stevens was floored by Christ's autobiography. 'The Church has enough problems on its hands right now, what with sagging attendance rates and child molestation allegations. You know,' Stevens continued, 'Christ hasn't lead the most wholesome life. There was a reason He cavorted with that Mary Magdalene character. He also used to partake in kaneh-bosm, which is Hebrew for cannabis, with His closest disciples. This is probably just a way of getting attention.' Stevens then excused him to attend Mass.

When asked to comment on His Son's claims, God responded, "That ungrateful little brat! Do you know how many followers His little tantrum cost me? Yeah, I wasn't all that emotionally connected with Him when He was younger. But He's my right hand man now-literally. What more could He want?" When asked to describe His relationship with His father, God angrily responded, "I have no father!"

Other "funny" stories here ... http://unconfirmedsources.com/headings/World%20News.php?subaction=showfull&id=1097883753& archive=&start_from=&ucat=4&

Sebastien447
10-30-2004, 08:30 AM
The "pledge" debate seems trivial, but it really is not.

I'm not going to recite a history lesson here, but the separation of church and state is extremely important to this country. If the word "God" becomes part of the daily routine of school children, it's not a big step, but it certainly is a step away from that separation.

Sebastien447
10-30-2004, 09:53 AM
My teacher told me that back when he use to say the pledge there was a comma after one nation and before under God. Making it less offensive than it apparently is today.

ROFLMFAO!!!

one nation COMMA under God ... it's all just a matter of the strategic usage of punctuation!

I love ya Bets, thanks for that!

meadfish
10-30-2004, 11:09 AM
If the word "God" becomes part of the daily routine of school children, it's not a big step, but it certainly is a step away from that separation. Ahem, For roughly 175 years the word God was always a part of routine in school children, and it is being stepped away from by a society that is trying to be "politically correct"

Sebastien447
10-30-2004, 11:27 AM
Ahem, For roughly 175 years the word God was always a part of routine in school children, and it is being stepped away from by a society that is trying to be "politically correct"


I was never forced to say the pledge as a student ... and I had never had it forced into my classroom as a teacher until two years ago.

meadfish
10-30-2004, 02:30 PM
I was never forced to say the pledge as a student ... and I had never had it forced into my classroom as a teacher until two years ago.I don't think I was ever forced to say it, but it was "routine" to repeat the word previously used. Even though I wasn't a christian in my early school years, it never occured to me not to say it.

3mlm
10-30-2004, 02:48 PM
I was never forced to say the pledge as a student ... and I had never had it forced into my classroom as a teacher until two years ago.




I'm not sure what the difference between "forced" and "pressured" to say the pledge is. Everyone was supposed to stand and and say the pledge every day I went to school from kindergarten through 12th grade. And then in Spanish class, we were "pressured" to say it again in Spanish or lose grade points. (Of course, the words, "under God," weren't in the pledge of allegiance until I was in first or second grade.)

My husband went to school in Dallas until he was 14 and nobody was allowed to be a teacher who wasn't a member of the Baptist Church. Better believe the students had to say the pledge of allegiance or suffer the consequences. (One consequence my husband suffered was having to stay in class, the only student, during release time religious instruction, since he was not a Christian but a Jew.)

The words, "under God," were not even part of the pledge of allegiance until 1954. Before then, hardly anybody (except the Johovah's Witnesses) protested saying the pledge of allegiance.

A good site for reviewing arguments against including the word, "under God," in the pledge of allegiance.

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jeff_lowder/pledge.shtml

meadfish
10-31-2004, 03:49 AM
I guess I was a little sheltered growing up in liberal ol' Southern California :P 3mlm, that stuff about your husband in Texas is an example of where church should have been seperated from state! Talk about forced religion! :-/

Sebastien447
10-31-2004, 07:24 AM
This discussion is becoming very interesting, per the differences in "pledge requirements" for students living in different areas of the country, and spanning different eras.

I live in CO ... but I grew up in OH in the 70s - 80s. As a student, I was never required, pressured, forced or otherwise, into saying the pledge. It was never a part of the daily routine. I did attend Catholic schools though.

As a teacher here in CO, the pledge was never a part of the routine from the late 90s until a few years ago, when legislators were bored enough to try to force it upon us. There was a strong negative reaction and it is not a part of my classroom routine this day.

Sebastien447
10-31-2004, 07:40 AM
Seb....regarding separation of church and state. I believe that what the founding fathers meant was that they didn't want there to be any religious persecution and that all should be free to worship their own religion. They didn't mean that we should all have to act like there is no God.

Isn't God mentioned in the constitution and early songs of the time....such as the National Anthem? How long ago did they start putting "In God We Trust" on money?

There is a problem ... this topic has been split in half here at TAT. Half of it went to the Politics forum and half of it is her on the Religion forum (DAMN that kirkus :P ). I believe I answered your queries on the Politics forum.

If not, could we just transfer all church/state discussion over to the thread on the politics board.

Kirkus
10-31-2004, 08:10 AM
There is a problem ... this topic has been split in half here at TAT. Half of it went to the Politics forum and half of it is her on the Religion forum (DAMN that kirkus :P ). I believe I answered your queries on the Politics forum.

If not, could we just transfer all church/state discussion over to the thread on the politics board.



My God! You are a stickler on organization aren't you? Post this here... post that there... blah blah blah ;D

3mlm
10-31-2004, 08:41 AM
This discussion is becoming very interesting, per the differences in "pledge requirements" for students living in different areas of the country, and spanning different eras.

I live in CO ... but I grew up in OH in the 70s - 80s. As a student, I was never required, pressured, forced or otherwise, into saying the pledge. It was never a part of the daily routine. I did attend Catholic schools though.

As a teacher here in CO, the pledge was never a part of the routine from the late 90s until a few years ago, when legislators were bored enough to try to force it upon us. There was a strong negative reaction and it is not a part of my classroom routine this day.

That's surprising. I grew up in the 50's and 60's in Southern California and we said the pledge every day.

Were we required to? I don't know but I never saw anyone not participate.

Sebastien447
11-11-2004, 08:01 AM
LMAO :D :D :D